Meiji Olympics
by hitokiri oro-chan
Summary: The Kenshingumi compete in the Olympics... Third Chapter up! Men's 10m Diving finals! Please RR
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the Olympics, I only wrote this because I didn't get a chance to do one when they were held in Sydney. (I live in Australia, about 18 hours drive from Sydney -, so please don't blame me if I'm a _little _biased.) Don't get me wrong though, the Athens games were fantastic…

Back to the plot! This is mainly a little story to help get over writers block, there may be more chapters later…

Meiji Olympics

The day dawned bright and clear as the Kenshin-gumi began the short walk to Kenshin's first event. 'Kaoru- dono, I'm not sure about this.' He said uncomfortably as he looked at the huge crowd that was gathering up ahead.

'Nonsense, Kenshin.' She said calmly as she pulled him by the arm towards the arena. 'I've already signed you up, and don't you dare complain.' She waved a finger in his face. 'After your last little battle with Saitoh, the main dojo was damaged almost beyond repair. This was the only way I could think of for you to pay me back.'

'But Kaoru-dono, I've heard that the Olympocs are supposed to be really hard to get into…' He tried feebly.

'Olympics, Kenshin.' She corrected him. 'Tae knows the manager of the current games, and she owed me a favour… so I asked her to…pull a few strings for me.' She laughed happily.

'oro…'Was the heartfelt reply. A masculine voice began speaking into a megaphone, the words echoing off the seats that had been raised in the form of an arena. 'Himura Kenshin, would you please report to the High Jump area as soon as possible? Himura Kenshin, to the High Jump area.'

He turned to face his raven-haired friend. 'Kaoru – dono, what exactly is high Jump?'

'Ano, the man at the registration podium told me.' She answered holding up one finger knowingly. 'He said it was a big pole suspended over a mat that people take turns to jump and it keeps getting higher.'

Kenshin's eyes scanned around to see what he could make of her vague description. 'I think I found it de gozaru yo!' he yelled before sprinting off.

The others followed at a more human pace.

Kenshin looked up at the pole, _wow_, he thought to himself. _It's much higher than I thought it would be for the first jump_. He was jolted out of his pondering by a voice through the loud speaker.

'The men's high jump will now begin, will the first athlete please attempt the jump?'

Kenshin looked around him quickly, none of the other people standing around him seemed very interested in becoming the first to attempt the height. In fact they seemed to be paying no attention to the loud speaker and were chatting among themselves.

'Oh well.' He muttered, steeling himself up for the jump. 'Here goes.' He took a deep breath took a quick couple of steps and leapt up and over the bar, easily clearing it, he then landed gracefully on the mat. He straightened up, breathing out slowly glad to have cleared the jump so easily, with the pressure of so many people watching. He then realised that the stadium was quiet…too quiet…MUCH too quiet.

He looked around quickly to see what had caused a stir so large it had shut up an entire stadium of people. He looked to his right to see the men who had been chatting between themselves before he jumped, staring at him with giant sweatdrops on their foreheads and their mouths open. 'Oro?' he asked, they didn't seem to be able to answer him, so he looked behind him, over his shoulder, to see a group of officials looking absolutely gob smacked, he turned looking to his left and saw Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko staring him down, he began to feel slightly frustrated that no one would tell him what he'd done wrong. 'What's the matter?' he asked finally after a few minutes of being stared at by a silent stadium full of people. 'It was only the first height, it's going to get higher than that!'

'Uuuh Kenshin?' Sano asked, finally breaking the silence.

'Yes?' Kenshin asked turning to face him.

Sano suddenly jerked his thumb over his shoulder at an object behind him. 'THAT is High Jump.'

Kenshin's eyes widened as he saw a much, MUCH lower bar. His eyes roved around the very scared looking group of would-be contestants, and as his eyes focussed on each one, they quickly lowered their eyes and backed all the way out of the stadium.

He turned slowly to face his friends again, 'If that.' He pointed to high jump. 'Is the event I was _supposed_ to be in just now, then.' He pointed to the obscure other event in which his participation had well and truly freaked out an entire stadium full of people. '_What_ is that?'

'Allow me to field that one, Battousai.' Saitoh said as he sauntered up with a police uniform on and as close to a grin on his wolf-like face that Kenshin had ever seen. For some reason the sight of his old enemy grinning at his expense was NOT something that filled Kenshin with confidence.

'What you just participated in is called Pole Vault.' At Kenshin's lax expression the wolf continued, the grin he was trying so hard to wipe off his face stretching another few inches.

'The competitors using a very long bendable stick, run up and, by jamming the stick in a hole manage to propel themselves over the bar. _YOU_ on the other hand.' He paused taking a deep puff on his cigarette to contain the laughter that was threatening to get out. 'YOU, simply looked around yourself like a tourist at a Tepanyaki stall, took two little steps and then just _launched_ yourself over the bar as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.'

'It WAS nothing out of the ordinary Saitoh!' Kenshin snarled, his cheeks blushing a slight red.

'For _you_ maybe, Mr Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, I can do laundry, introduce a new era _and _leap several meters unaided into the air all in one day.' Said the feared wolf of Mibu, sounding more like a taunting older brother.

He began to laugh quietly, as Kenshin's face shone red with embarrassment.

'The first height was 10m Battousai most ordinary people need some kind of help to get over a height of that magnitude.'

Sano, Kaoru and Yahiko began to laugh as well. Kenshin tried to glare at them, but with the shade of red his face was it wasn't very threatening.

He spun around to face the wolf square on. 'I would suggest that you don't pass comment on things you can't do yourself, _Saitoh_.' Kenshin told the older man with a very slight stress on the policeman's name.

Saitoh stopped laughing. 'Are you suggesting Battousai, that I, feared Wolf of Mibu could not jump over that.' He pointed at the 10m high bar that had birds flying around it. 'Feeble piece of wood?!'

Kenshin crossed his arms over his chest. 'Actions speak louder than words, de gozaru yo.' Was the Rurouni's thinly veiled challenge.

Saitoh stared at the redhead for a moment before ripping off his police issued jacket and marching quickly towards the bar. He threw the jacket over his shoulder in a rage, not hearing the muffled 'Oompf' or the string of curses that followed it as it hit Sanosuke square in the face. 'I'll show him.' He muttered as he began to jog towards the bar.

'He looks serious.' Yahiko stated as Saitoh began to sprint in earnest at the bar.

Saitoh's battle cry began when he had reached about halfway, with each step it grew in volume and intensity.

"AARRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!'

He jumped.

The crowd was silent as the policeman sailed gracefully towards the bar. Saitoh's battle cry continued as he flew upwards, the crowd gasped as one when he began the downhill plummet, without even making it halfway to the 10m bar. The fearsome battle cry turned into a girlish scream, as he landed on the blue safety mat. The silence was broken only by Kenshin's soft chuckles.

'Ummm…' kaoru started 'Do you think he's ok?'

Kenshin was about to answer, when the Ex- Wolf of Mibu stood up suddenly and fwipped his slightly mussed hair back into place. He reached into his pants pocket to retrieve a cigarette. He completely ignored the fact that the weight of a very tall and muscular swordsman had fallen five metres directly onto it, and simply moulded it back into shape.

'And that's how it's done, Battousai.' Saitoh told his old enemy with an inscrutable little smile on his face.

'Aaahhh… you missed.' Yahiko pointed out gently, as though worried about the taller man's sanity. 'You only made it halfway…'

Saitoh turned to the young boy, clearly thinking fast while attempting desperately to cling to some of his dignity.

'To the untrained eye, boy.' Saitoh smirked. 'Look there.' He turned to look at the bar still suspended over their heads.

The whole crowd silently turned expecting the bar to snap into two neat halves as an after effect of the Shinsengumi's lightning fast speed.

1 Whole minute later

'Nothing's happening.' Sano pointed out.

'Your missing my point,' Saitoh said, looking as though he desperately wanted to stamp his foot. 'It was what led up to and what followed that truly shows who won.'

'Oh yes,' Kenshin added with a perfectly straight face. 'Your battle cry was very impressive, especially towards the end how it went all high pitched and feminine… very scary.' He nodded wisely, as did most of the men in the crowd.

'I'll show you feminine, girly-man!' Saitoh growled.

Kenshin raised one eyebrow and said nothing.

Saitoh paused, as he realised what he'd said 'In 80 years that is going to be very harsh.' He told the group in general.

'Oh, good.' Yahiko said encouragingly. 'because now it's just really lame…'

Saitoh looked for a moment as though he was trying to find something to say to that. He failed.

'I think we both know who the _real _winner here was Battousai.' He informed the slight, red-head as he walked away, calling over his shoulder as he went. 'Anytime you'd like a rematch come and find me. Maybe I'll go easy on you.'

Kenshin shrugged, 'How about now?' He inquired politely.

Saitoh stopped suddenly before his retreat suddenly became a lot faster, 'Not now, I have … business to attend to…' He muttered as he half ran out of the arena.

Silence once again filled the stadium as the policeman disappeared through the gate.

The loudspeaker voice cleared its throat awkwardly, 'Would Himura Kenshin please come and collect his prizes for the Men's Pole Vault and Men's High Jump?'

Kenshin walked to the booth, while the man continued. 'As Himura- san was the only competitor in both events he will win first, second and third in both.' Kenshin sweatdropped.

'The prizes for the first places are a years worth of free food at the Akabeko.' Yahiko yelled and punched the air.

'Second prizes are,' He paused, before whistling loudly. '_Quite_ a reasonable sum of money.' Kaoru laughed 'Now we can fix the dojo, and all thanks to me and Tae-san.'

Kenshin sweatdropped.

'And third prize,'

Sano leant forward expectantly. _Jouchan got the money for the dojo, Yahiko got the free food at the akabeko, (not that I'll say no when they invite me) my finely tuned gambling instincts are telling me that the last prize will be something that I'll really like! _He thought. He began to grin, already picturing himself so happy with the third prize that he would punch the air like Yahiko had done.

'Weekend trips on the Steam train to Yokohama.' Sano fell to the ground.

He handed Kenshin the vouchers and money and the crowd began to leave, looking at Kenshin curiously as they passed him. Kenshin and his friends joined the crowd, and were out of the gate when they heard the loudspeaker declare an end to the first day of the Meiji Olympics.

'That went much better than I thought it would.' Kaoru said happily waving the money. 'I could really use that new kitchen stove that Michino-san was talking about the other day, she said you can cook _inside_ with it!'

She looked at the money in her hands and frowned a little. 'There's not quite enough here though.' She perked up suddenly. 'Sano, do you remember how you broke the dojo gate the other day?' He sweatdropped. 'I know what you can do to repay me now!'

A/N- I finally put up another chapter of something! I have such terrible writers block that even this little piece didn't come out properly. TT, but I figure if I keep going with this story it might fade and my writingness (see I told you it was bad OO) might come back…

Please read and review… this one would appreciate it, good reviews help make writers block disappear.


	2. Weigtlifting

Chapter 2, Sano Weightlifting

Another day of the Meiji Olympics dawned bright and clear, and this time the contestants were warming up their muscles as they waited for the final round of weightlifting to begin.

'Are you sure you want to do this Sano?' Kenshin asked, slightly warily as a very bulky man walked past, unable to swing his arms normally because of all the extra muscle hampering his movements.

'Yeah,' Sano answered breezily as another man began bending 1 inch steel girders with his bare hands. 'Should be interesting.'

'If you say so, Sano' Kaoru said slightly doubtfully. 'Kenshin and I are going to join Yahiko in the stands now,' She told the ex-streetfighter. '…goodluck?' She finished hesitantly as she saw a contestant behind Sano begin repeatedly banging his head against the wall and screaming, apparently, Sano told them later, this helped the man to focus.

'Yeah, thanks Jou-chan' Sano said with a somewhat feral grin, he shot a quick thumbs up at the pair and went to join the other contestants, not caring if he stepped on the chests of a few of the men doing sit ups on his journey across the room, as with all that extra muscle they didn't notice.

'Do you think he'll be ok?' Kaoru asked Kenshin, as the pair watched him go with big sweatdrops on their heads.

'I think we will know very soon, Kaoru-dono,' was the rurouni's unhelpful reply. 'but I do think that we should go and join Yahiko now, that we should.' He finished leading her away but the arm, as she tried to catch another glimpse of Sano. 'They will be starting very soon that they will.'

'The starting weight will be 67kg.' The voice over the loudspeaker informed the crowd. 'All contestants are welcome to attempt this lift, but remember, each contestant is only allowed to try three separate weights three times each, making for a total of 9 attempts. The winner will be the individual who manages to lift over his head the largest combined weight. Does everyone understand?'

Audience sweatdrops.

The loudspeaker voice cleared his throat, 'I guess we can explain a little more clearly as we go along… would the contestants who would like to attempt the 67kg lift please approach the bar.

Three men lined up, including the smallest man in the competition besides Sano, compared to the other men he was absolutely shrimpy, being only double the muscle structure of Hiko Seijuro.

He stomped up to the bar, causing three glasses of water to fall off the judges table ten meters away, and bent in preparation for the lift.

Unfortunately for him, he was so nervous his hands were sweating profusely and he forgot to chalk them to improve his grip before he tried to lift the bar, at first it appeared that he was going to lift it easily. He managed to get the bar up to his gargantuan chest, before loosing his grip spectacularly and dropping the entire weight on his size 14C feet. (I have no idea what shoe measuring systems you guys use in other countries, in other words his feet are HUGE.)

The shrimpy weightlifter howled like a wounded bison until someone sedated him with a blow dart and he was carted out of the area in a wheelbarrow.

'Ouch, de gozaru.' Could be heard clearly from the silent stands.

The other contestants who had also considered lifting the weight all scooted out of the room muttering something about being past their prime and becoming sport commentators. The larger men who were waiting for their turn to attempt a lift also backed out of the room in varying speeds, one yelling something about having progressed beyond the physical form and becoming a monk.

Audience O.O

The loudspeaker cleared his throat again, and shuffled his notes to something towards the back. 'Well that was one way to eliminate to competition…' He laughed weakly.

Audience still O.O

'Ahem… well ladies and gentlemen it would appear that we only have two competitors remaining, they are; Kagerobi Junei, current world champion and the world record holder with a lift of 178kg! This man literally eats nails for breakfast' pauses for effect without milk!'

Audience gasps as Kagerobi began strikingposes that best showed off his muscle.

'And his challenger today is…' Sano puffed himself up waiting for an intro similar to Kagerobi's. 'Sagaru Sanosume.'

_Sagara Sanosuke!! _Could be heard from the background

'Right, sorry, would the great Kagerobi be willing to try 184kg?' Kagerobi nodded regally while Sano jumped around in the background yelling his head off at being ignored.

Kagerobi sauntered up to the podium, taking a very long time to chalk his hands and arrange his grip properly on the bar. He took a deep breath and held it, then he began, he lifted the bar slowly to his knees sweating and grunting as his muscles bulged, he held it there for a few seconds before yelling loudly and propelling the bar onto his chest, he held it there for a little longer, sweat running down his face in rivulets, Kagerobi sucked in a little more air and thrust the weight over his head, holding it there for the designated time.

He dropped the weight back to the floor and punched the air, the audience all gasped as they heard a loud popping noise and Kagerobi staggered around gripping his newly dislocated shoulder.

'And that folks is why you should never lift huge weights and then celebrate by punching things.' Came the voice over the loudspeaker.

Audience sweatdropped

'Well folks I think that about wraps up our weightlifting championship today, even though his shoulder is dislocated, Kagerobi did indeed lift the weight in a flawless show of strength, I think we can all be clear that with no contestants remaining Kagerobi has once again won gold.'

'HEEEEEY!!!' Came Sano's voice.

'Oh, right, you… sorry, you want to have a go at this weight too?' He asked.

'No, I wanna have a go at 200kg.' Sano yelled back.

'Whatever its your funeral.' Was the caring reply from a man who no longer has passion for his work.

The weight was set up and Sano walked up to the podium. He chalked his hands, clapped them once to get some of the chalk off, sneezed and then had to chalk them again.

He arranged his grip on the bar took a deep breath and began to lift it to his knees, he was sweating and grunting just like Kagerobi had, Sano gasped in a little more air and managed to get it up to his chest he held it there for a few seconds before the weight somehow managed to drop back down to his knees (I have no idea if that's legal or not, so if it is please look past it for the sake of the story ) The audience gasped thinking Sano was about to drop the weight, he looked up at the thousands of people watching him and suddenly grinned, 'Was that Kagerobi guy serious?' He asked as he stood up straight, the 200kg weight lifted over his head in one hand as if it weighed no more than 2kg, the light bleeped and Sano was allowed to drop it, he waited a few more seconds just to prove he could and placed the barbell gently on the ground again.

He stood up easily and flashed a big thumbs up at the shocked audience. 'Yeah!!!' Yahiko yelled as he Kenshin and Kaoru began to clap and cheer for their roosterheaded friend.

After a while the rest of the audience joined in until the whole room was cheering for Sano.

'Alright, alright.' Came the voice over the loudspeaker again, 'so, he's strong, would someone give him his prizes so we can all go home?' there was a loud whine of feedback as the man in the booth knocked over the microphone on his way out of the box without bothering to turn it off. 'I'm really starting to hate this job.' He muttered.

The audience listened as his footsteps faded away, O.O.

'That was fun,' Kaoru said as the four left the building shortly after, 'before this is over I might have a go at something.' She fingered the bills that Sano had given her to repair the gate he had broken. 'The prizes are really good!'

'Doesn't anyone else find it a bit odd that out of the two events Sano and I have completely outclassed all the competition?' Kenshin asked curiously.

'Pfft, you think too much Kenshin.' Sano said as he wrapped an arm around his friends shoulders. 'Just accept that we are better in most ways to everyone around us.'

'Your modesty is humbling, de gozaru yo.' Kenshin told his friend with a straight face.

'Thanks Kenshin, I know.' Was the reply.

A/N : i know, I know it's been much too long since I've added anything to any of my stories. There might not be much of a chance of me adding anything to Unexplained Happenings for a couple of months yet as I need some comedy in my life at the moment and am having trouble writing other genres.

Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter of my story and I'm glad you all liked it -.

**Terry-McElrath**- I'm glad you liked it, I've just recently discovered your stuff, I really like your story where Rurouni gets a day out… I loved it, there aren't enough Battousai stories out there with some humour in 'em -, I'm honoured you liked my story -

**Mccaine **– I'm happy you liked Saitoh's style, as I said in the summary, I really do love Saitoh as a character, he's just so much fun to play with if you know what I mean? Characters that are so serious tend to make funnier spoofs -, thanks for reviewing.

**Limelie-** Hi, thanks so much for your review, Saitoh is so fun to mess with -, hope you like this chapter too.

**Jykamiya**- I can't believe you and the other reviewers find my stuff so amusing, as long as I get a giggle out of it I feel the story is worthwhile, but to know that you like them too is really encouraging. Thanks heaps -

Vote for the event next chapter!!! 

Saitoh and Kenshin 100m sprint

Shishio rhythmic gymnastics

Hiko 10m diving platform

Kaoru Judo


	3. Chapter 3

File name: 10m.doc

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni kenshin or the Olympics, although I do own the international federation of commentators… nup, that's a lie too…

Sorry to everyone that doesn't use the metric system… I think 10 meters is like 30 feet or something, although I'm probably wrong...

Men's 10m platform The day had begun with a promising start, Kaoru had surprised her three male friends by spending some of the prize money Kenshin and Sano had won in previous events to supply them all with front row seats to the mens 10m Diving event.

Kenshin reached over and grabbed a packet of chocolates from the overflowing spare seat in between Sanosuke and Yahiko.

'Oi, a's 'ine!' Sano told him angrily his mouth bulging at the sides spraying a mouthful of crumbs over Yahiko indignantly.

The boy looked up once, glared at his older friend and turned back to his own bag, not even bothering to brush the crumbs from his hair.

'I'm sorry,' Kenshin told him cheerfully, clearly not sorry at all. 'I don't speak glutton.' He turned and offered the newly opened bag of chocolates to Kaoru smiling widely. 'Would you like one Kaoru-dono?'

She blushed faintly and smiled at her friend. 'Why thank you Kenshin, I'd love one!' She began reaching her hand towards the offered bag, but before she could grab one. Sano quickly pushed Kenshin's face into the packet and then just as quickly retracted his hand in the off chance the red-head retaliated.

Kenshin raised his head and spat the mouthful of chocolates that had accidentally wedged into his mouth, back into the packet.

Kaoru jerked her hand back quickly. 'Ewwww...' she informed her friend

in disgust.

Kenshin frowned thoughtfully. 'No, I don't blame you.' He said, examining the packet. 'I don't like nougat either. 'Still, waste not, want not.' He popped a chocolate into his mouth with a shrug.

'Baka, that isn't what I meant!' Kaoru yelled, slamming him on the back. Which caused Kenshin's mouth to open in surprise, and the half-chewed chocolate launched itself across the room. The four froze as they watched it sail gracefully through the air and land with a wet squelch right on the 10m diving platform.

'Oh, oh!' Sano muttered gleefully.

'Guess you'd better get that,' Yahiko said with a grin. 'Someone could

slip.'

'Orooo...' Kenshin muttered, standing wearily.

'Oh, and Kenshin?'

The red-head turned warily at the tone of Kaoru's voice.

He sweat-dropped when she handed him a pair of bright-blue swimming

trunks.

'Do us proud, ok?'

He hung his head in defeat and headed for the changing rooms, ignoring the

sniggers from his friends.

As Kenshin changed quickly, he heard the commentator address the audience.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that we have received a late entrant, a Mr Himura Kenshin. And as for no reason at all we are going in order of shortest to tallest, Mr Himura will be the first to dive.' The audience applauded politely as Kenshin sprinted out from the change rooms and up the steps to the platform so fast he didn't even look the other divers.

'Mr Himura has reached the platform and appears to be employing a new technique.' The voice over the loudspeaker said doubtfully.

Kenshin had dropped on all fours as in seach of his hiding chocolate, cursing whoever it was that had decided to make the non-slip matting of the diving platform a chocolate brown colour.

'Yes!' he thought in elation as he finally found it and stood back up, a little uncertain of what to do now he had the missing chocolate gripped safely in his rather tight grip.

'Would Mr Himura please jump?' the voice over the loudspeaker said impatiently after a few moments of silence.

The ex-assassin stared at the mushed chocolate for a moment before shrugging and shoving it into his mouth.

'Eeewww…' Came three voices in unison from the audience. Kenshin swallowed and cleared his through. 'I can't dive now Announcer-dono!' He informed politely. 'You have to wait an hour after eating before going swimming.'

Silence filled the stadium, broken only by the steady tap, tap, tap of the announcer's pen, which he was tapping in frustration next to the microphone.

Minutes passed and no one spoke, Kenshin began to fidget uncomfortably as everyone continued to start at him.

'Would someone push him or something?' the announcer asked finally, apparently deciding to ignore Kenshin completely.

There was a whooshing noise behind him and Kenshin turned warily to see Hiko standing behind him grinning evilly... 'My pleasure.' The taller man said moving towards his student with both arms extended.

'Shishou?' Kenshin squeaked, his wide, violet eyes taking in his shishou's green speedos. 'What are you wearing?' he asked, quickly averting his eyes.

Hiko shrugged. 'You didn't expect me to wear something like that, did you?' He asked distastefully, gesturing at Kenshin's trunks.

There was a wolf whiste from the audience.

'What are you doing here?' the red-head shrieked'

Hiko shrugged casually. 'Diving pays for sake.' was the literate reply. 'Anyway, you have to jump now baka-deshi. You're holding everyone up.' He pushed Kenshin to the edge of the platform.

'I've just eaten.' Kenshin protested weakly as he looked down into the

deep abyss of water.

Hiko grinned again. 'Not my problem. Off you go!' and he pushed his student so hard that he went flying off the board sideways.

The last thing Kenshin saw before his descent began was the evil grin

which was still gracing his master's features.

_I'll show him._ Kenshin thought as he began to fall. _He thinks he's so cool, but I can be just as cool. I'm also trained in Hiten Mitsurugi and I'm much more agile than him so I should have no troubles beating him._ He grinned as he thought of the perfect dive to defeat his master.

He bunched himself up to begin himself spinning, before opening himself as wide as he could. (think Pocahontas) and opened his eyes…

…to discover he was three feet away from the surface of the water. He sweat-dropped and hit the water with a loud 'Ack!' the sound of his 10m high belly flop resounding off the walls of the stadium. The audience groaned sympathetically as one, before breaking into loud and appreciative applause.

Kenshin surfaced painfully to find his Shishou taunting him from the platform above.

'Baaaaka! What have I told you about lengthy and pointless internal monologues when you're falling?' He asked.

Kenshin ignored him and simply floated sea-weed like to the edge of the pool.

'And that!' The announcer yelled happily through the microphone. 'Was an absolutely flawless example of what not to do! Call me sadistic ladies and gentlemen, but at times I love this job.'

The audience still applauded as loudly as they could, cheering and whistling.

Kenshin flopped over the edge of the pool to the semi dry tiles surrounding it. 'Well, at least that's over.' He sighed.

'Oh no, Mr.' Kaoru began, appearing from nowhere to loom over him. 'You still have another dive and you will redeem us!' she snorted out a puff of smoke and her eyes gleamed red.

Us? He thought to himself. 'But it still hasn't been an hour since I last ate, and I was always told …' He sighed and gave up. 'Urgh, I'll just go.' He stated, finally coming to terms that she would not let him escape.

'Excellent!' she purred, pulling him up by the arm. 'It's only you, Hiko and another contestant competing anyway.' She waved and sauntered back to her seat.

Kenshin looked up warily. Another contestant? A rougue puff of smoke snaked it's way in front of his eyes. Kenshin groaned. 'Oh, no.'

'Oh yes, Battousai.' Saitoh said from above him.

Kenshin still had his eyes to the ground. 'Why you?' He moaned helplessly 'Why always you?'

Saitoh gave a derisive snort. 'It's an unexplainable enigma of life Battousai, besides, you're just jealous.' he told the shorter man.

Kenshin looked up genuinely bewildered and instantly wished he hadn't.

'Ack.' He said again.

The ex-Shinsengumi was wearing a very revealing pair of skin tight tigerprint Speedo's.

'You're just jealous your shrimpy little legs could never compete with the lithe beauty of mine.' He concluded, twirling in a little circle.

'Excuse me?' Kesnhin asked as he tried to look anywhere but at the leg Saitoh was flexing in his direction.

'You heard me, Battousai,' Saitoh stated. 'We all know you're the size of a stunted child.'

Kenshin levelled a glare at the man and puffed himself up to a semi-intimidating height. 'I'll have you know, Saitoh.' He began, his patience finally snapping. "I am NOT short.'

Saitoh stopped dead in the middle of flexing his other leg and wobbled slightly staring at Kenshin.

'Excuse me?' he asked quite politely.

'I am not short.' Kenshin death glared him.

Saitoh placed his leg carefully back on the ground before reaching up to clean out his ear with his finger. 'One more time?'

Kenshin made an exasperated noise and brushed past him, back on his way to the platform. He felt a presence behind him and looked over his shoulder... to find that Saitoh was practically plastered to his back.

'Do you mind?' Kenshin asked, irritated.

'Mind what?' Saitoh questioned innocently.

'Stepping back a few paces.' The red-head growled through gritted teeth.

'Oh…' Saitoh said. 'I'm sorry, my long, strong legs must have been going so fast I didn't notice what tiny steps you were taking.'

Kenshin gritted his teeth harder until he felt a tooth crack.

Growling, he realised they had reached the ladder to the platform. 'You. Go.' The rurouni grunted, gesturing upwards with a fist.

Saitoh sauntered to the ladder and began to climb, with each step he took the taller man would kick his other leg out behind him ridiculously, all the time watching Kenshin's growing fury. He was so intent on his taunting that he hadn't noticed he had run out of ladder and fell face first onto the platform where Hiko still stood, watching the scene in

amusement.

Panicking, the wolf pushed himself up so quickly he unbalanced himself and stumbled forward gracelessly right into Hiko.

Hiko caught the shorter man in the chest and stepped backwards to regain his balance, only to find that they had run out of board.

His eyes widened as they fell and in the noble spirit of Hiten Mitsurugi, Master Hiko grabbed Saitoh by both arms and swung him over his head.

'Wow!' Sano said to the others in the stands. 'Even to his apprentice's greatest enemy, he still shows mercy.

Yahiko spoke in admiration. 'So this is true Hiten Mitsurugi?'

Kaoru nodded in awe.

All three sweat dropped when Hiko finished his upswing and brought the now screaming Saitoh back down and stood on his back, riding the shorter man like a surfboard.

The splash for the impact showered the entire stadium with water.

'He used Saitoh to break his fall...' A drenched Kenshin said weakly to no one in particular.

The ripples gradually faded and Hiko's smiling head suddenly popped back out of the water, he flicked his long hair dramatically from side to side a few times before swimming one handed back to the side of the pool, the other busy flashing a peace sign at the audience.

His grin widened when he saw Kenshin, still dripping standing next to the platform.

'How was that, baka?' he asked proudly.

A shell shocked Kenshin completely ignored this question and asked one of his own. 'Um… where's Saitoh?'

Hiko turned back to the pool just in time to see the tigerprint Speedo's bubble back to the surface... without Saitoh inside.'

'Hah!' Hiko answered. 'Wherever he is, I'm gonna guess that he's none too warm right now.' he grinned.

Kenshin sweat dropped and was about to answer when a commotion from the stands distracted him, he turned his head towards the sound of female screams near the exit.

His sweat drop grew in size. Saitoh had somehow clambered from the pool and was now covering himself with a pair of VERY badly fitting, frilly female bloomers.

He was sprinting as fast as he could towards the exit, entire front bright pink from the impact with the water.

'Someone stop him!' the voice over the loudspeaker demanded. 'He has another dive!'

Saitoh screamed as he ran, eventually forming words. 'No, I can't dive with my lovely legs all covered up like this! I refuse!' he sprinted faster finally reaching the door. With a final shriek that echoed to the top of the stands, he side kicked the door so hard it broke in half. Saitoh paused in his escape long enough to lovingly caress the leg that had freed him, before he bounded loose into the street.

'Great' the commentator said dejectedly. 'And that leaves all of,' there was a snapping noise as he finally broke his pen. 'Two contestants.' He continued in a deceptively calm voice, the audience heard him inhale loudly. 'Now, would someone please jump before I do? Shrimpy it's your turn.'

'I have small bones.' Kenshin stated haughtily.

'Whatever.' The announcer said negligently, loudly chomping a rice cracker right into the microphone. 'Just go.' He continued with his mouth full.

Kenshin glared up at the speakers box for a moment before reaching a decision. He climbed up the ladder to the diving board quickly, ran to the edge and jumping high into the air performed a series of spectacular flips and turns and landing perfectly in the water… feet first. 'Woah…' Yahiko announced as Kaoru clapped loudly and Sano gave a low, impressed whistle.

The rest of the audience, having more of an idea of what the sport of diving entailed collectively slapped their own foreheads.

'Nooooooooo!' the announcer screamed, banging his microphone on the desk repeatedly. 'That was so close. So close!' he dissolved into sobs, before the audience heard the sound of his chair sliding back as he stood.

'I can't do this.' He said .'I don't need money to live, there's plenty of dust I can eat… it's low in fat and I'm sure it's nutritious.' He began to laugh hysterically. There was a loud bang, a thump another scraping of the chair and a loud whine of feedback as the microphone changed hands.

'Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen.' A new voice began calmly. 'There were…technical difficulties.'

'Saitoh?' Kenshin yelled from the water.

'Yes, Battousai and I don't know if anyone told you this, but the aim of diving is to land head first into the water.' He stated smugly from the commentators box.

Kenshin blushed as Hiko began to laugh loudly at his expense.

Kenshin frowned in thought and yelled up at the commentators box, desperately trying to keep some of his dignity. 'But, what happens when there is no water?' he asked. 'It wouldn't be practical to land head first after diving off a mountain would it?'

Hiko smacked his face with his hand and the audience groaned again.

'You really are an idiot.' He stated. 'Diving always has the water, there is no such thing as dirt diving we always land in the water and we always land head first. Those are the

two main rules of diving baka.'

Kenshin blushed angrily. 'No one told me that.' He muttered.

Hiko grinned. 'You never did do your homework.'

'If you ahou's are done, I'm going to suggest either my gatostu or some diving.' Saitoh growled.

Hiko grinned again as he looked away from his irate student, towards the commentary box. 'Why not show us your legs instead?' he taunted

A very small sweat-drop appeared on his head as a long, police uniform covered leg smashed its way violently through some of the glass panels on the box and began flexing at the audience.

Kenshin face-planted onto the wet tiles, and several gagging noises could be heard from anyone who had been drinking in the audience.

'Now, dive.' Saitoh said imperiously, pulling the leg carefully back through the window. Hiko turned and automatically began climbing the ladder, deeply humbled after his taunting had backfired so badly. After he had reached the top, Hiko seemed to have regained some of his old confidence. He grinned down at Kenshin. 'This is what a perfect dive looks like Baka deshi, not like that sad excuse for a diver legs McGee up there.' He gestured vaguely up at the commentators box.

The audience held it's breath as he centred himself in preparation for the dive, he held his arms wide and bent his legs as he began to spring, he took a deep breath… and was crash tackled right off the diving board by Saitoh (who was not very happy about the legs McGee jab).

The audience froze in shock.

The pair fell towards the water, each throwing and dodging punches at the speed of light. They landed in the water with remarkably little splash and after a moment resurfaced to continue their battle.

A whine of feedback was heard as yet another person picked up the microphone.

'And the winner of the Men's 10m platform goes to Himura Kenshin for the only thing even remotely resembling a dive.' Kaoru yelled triumphantly through the mike.

The audience clapped and roared in appreciation as Kenshin face-faulted in shock.

'Is there no security up there at all?' He mumbled wildly. 'It seems anyone can just stroll in there and say something…'

'Oooh.' He heard Sano's voice say. 'Rice crackers.'

The audience began to move as everyone prepared to leave, each talking about the entertaining experience they had just seen, several people mentioned the possibility that it had all been staged.

Kenshin met up with Kaoru, Yahiko and Sano who had taken the rice crackers the first commentator had been eating and was now munching on them himself.

Sano gestured at Saitoh and Hiko who were still biffing it out in the pool. Saitoh now had a bloody nose and Hiko a black eye.

'Should we stop that?' He asked, spraying crumbs all over Yahiko.

'No.' Kenshin said with a wink. 'Shishou would kill me if I interfered in the middle of a fight like that. Besides,' He added, gesturing as the two swordsmen punched each other in the face at the same time both flopping back into the water gracelessly.

'They look like they're having fun.' He chuckled and walked out of the stadium. The three looked at each other before shrugging and following after their red-haired friend, the sounds of cursing following them through the door and down the street.

Author's note: Well everyone, what do you think? I know it took a while for that chapter and I'm sorry for anyone that got impatient or lost interest in waiting for it, but hopefully a couple of you will get a kick out of reading it.

Any suggestions for other sports for the famous athletes (grin ) to compete in are always welcome.

I'd also like to thank Hasso for getting me off my lazy butt and inspiring me to dig this story out of the dark abyss I call a room and finally typing it up.


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